If I had a photocard for every time I heard that, I’d have a full binder.
We’ve all heard some version of it. It’s one of those comments people throw around so casually, as if loving something deeply is somehow a flaw. And lately, with the rise of K-pop and K-dramas globally, this idea has been resurfacing again, that being invested, excited, and emotionally connected to something makes you “too much” for the real world. But since when did having a passion, a community, and standards become something we need to tone down?
The truth is, for many of us, this so-called “obsession” has been a safe place. A space where emotions are allowed, where excitement isn’t judged, and where you don’t have to shrink yourself to be understood. It’s not just about music or shows, it’s about connection, expression, and feeling something fully in a world that often asks us to stay neutral. Passion doesn’t make you less desirable, it makes you more alive. It gives you stories, opinions, depth. Personally, my love for BTS, from staying up for long lives to rewatching quiet moments like In the SOOP, is what pushed me to create something of my own. It gave me direction, not distraction.
And honestly, being a fan is one of the best filters you could ever have. If someone looks at your joy and calls it “too much” they were never meant to understand you in the first place. Because the right person won’t be uncomfortable with your excitement, they’ll be curious about it. They won’t roll their eyes when you talk about a comeback, they’ll ask questions. They won’t see your passion as competition, they’ll see it as part of what makes you, you.
It can feel isolating sometimes, especially when people around you don’t get it. But that’s exactly why staying connected to your world matters. A simple message like “song of the day?” or “IN THE SOOP marathon tonight?” can bring you back to a space where you’re understood. It’s something I started doing more intentionally, even scheduling little moments like that for myself and my friends, just to keep that connection alive even on busy days. It’s small, but it makes a difference.
At the end of the day, the real plot twist is this: the right person will never ask you to choose between your joy and them. They’ll sit next to you while you explain the lore, they’ll laugh at the memes, they might even start recognizing names. So don’t dim your shine just because someone else doesn’t get it. You’re not too much. You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be.